Archive for December, 2004

bad news12.30.04

Please Lord, help us all, help us all who dreamed, so that we may succeed. We need you to be with us to give us encouragement and wisdom to do what is the best solution for this problem. To direct us on the right path…help us Lord. We know that your timing is the best, so we will wait for that time.

MAGHINTAY KA LAMANG

By: Ted Ito

Kung hindi ngayon ang panahon, na para sa iyo

Huwag maiinip, dahil ganyan ang buhay sa mundo

Huwag mawawalan ng pag-asa, darating din ang ligaya

Ang isipin mo’y may bukas pa,na may roong saya

Kabigua’y hindi hadlang, upang tumakas ka

Huwag kang iiwas, pag-nabibigo

Dapat nga lumaban ka….

(Chorus)

Ang kaylangan mo’y, tibay ng loob

Kung mayrong pag-subok man

Ang liwanag ay di magtatagal,

At muling mamamasdan

Iko’t ng mundo, ay hindi laging pighati’t kasawian

Ang pangarap mo ay makakamtam,

Basta’t maghintay ka lamang

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aiMz birthday12.27.04

aimz birthday is the day after christmas day. We celebrated it, of course! Malen and I went to aiMz house around 7pm. We met Justine and the rest of her kin. After we ate Spaghetti, halaya and cakes, we went to WOW Philippines. We took some pictures and we had henna tatoos, please see the pics.lol. The place was divided into some parts. If you like Tagalog classic songs, go in front of the Old Church. There’s an old church that gave me creeps. Whew! As if there are unexplainable things that is in there. Then around 10:30pm, we decided that we want to go to Baywalk for some more music and WOW also will close around 11:00pm. Taxi to Baywalk. We saw two mimes, which you have to drop coins before they move. One is dwarf like while the other one is pretty good. Please check the pics as well. At Baywalk, we ate at Indos Strip…aiMz treat. We saw an old Doulos friend of Lens, and her name is Joy. Their band was good. We went home around 2:30am. Malen slept at our house. We had a good time and it’s the first time that we went out and hope that it won’t be the last before we go to Korea.

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Christmas Gifts12.25.04

I received gifts from friends and family (first come, first serve type…hehehhe)

Pig figurine where its also a jewelry case — from Leah and Danilo

Picture frame with designs of giraffe and letters embosed my best friend — from Malensky

Small figurine of St. Michael from Angelissimo — from Aimz

Ragdoll keychain — from Chotzkie

Small native bag/wallet — from Hannah

…and lots of love from my other friends and family

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Christmas Day12.25.04

We celebrated the christmas day and it was good and warm. Kids come and go. We cooked Spaghetti, Graham Deserts and gelatin, Menudo, Shanghai (which is my luvs fave), Cassava Cake, and many more. Luv came around 4:00pm and he gave the gifts for my mom and dad, also for Thea. He wanted me to have something like perfume or jacket but what I really wanted was a digicam though I know that we may not use it coz we have to go to Korea and we don’t have PC for uploads but still I want it. You know! But its ok. Having him is enough and Christmas is not really about material things…its about the things that our hearts treasures most. We went to SM and we meet Aimz, we go Filgrenasia to exchange the ring for the one that fits his finger and his ring is 9 3/4 or 10. I’m so happy that we were together two in a row. And am I correct to have him forever? By the way, on our ring we have it engraved, Alex-Ruth 072996. That was our anniversary. Merry Christmas to everyone!

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kinda touched my heart12.24.04

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped

in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out

of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump

and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I

went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were

steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a

civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at

the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more

likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from

behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was

the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, “You are the kind of man who best draws girls’ eyeballs. Her

words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife

said, “Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.”

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my

wife. But I couldn’t help doing so.

I moved Dew’s hands aside and said,” You go to select some furniture,

O.K.? I’ve got something to do in the company.” Obviously she was

unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the

moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to

be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter

how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she

was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was

sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV

together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew’s body.

This was the means of my entertainment.



One day I said to her in a slight joking way, “suppose we divorce, what

will you do?” She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.

Apparently she believed that ‘divorce’ was something too far away from

her. I couldn’t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was

serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the

staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide

something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She

gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.



Once again, Dew said to me, “He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live

together.” I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.



When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. “I’ve got something

to tell you,” I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know

what I was thinking. “I want to divorce.” I raised a serious topic

calmly.



She didn’t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me

softly, “why?”. “I’m serious.” I avoided her question. This so-called

answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me,

“you are not a man!”.

At that night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she

wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly

give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated

that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She

glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.

The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger

one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to

see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce

which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.



A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her

writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I

found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.



She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me,

but I was supposed to give her one month’s time before divorce, and in

the month’s time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was

simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she

didn’t want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, “He Ning,

do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?”

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I

nodded and said, “I remember”. “You carried me in your arms”, she

continued, “so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your

arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you

must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.”

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to

end her marriage with a romantic form.



I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and

thought it was absurd. “No matter what tricks she does, she has to face

the result of divorce,” she said scornfully. Her words more or less made

me feel uncomfortable.



My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was

explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I

carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son

clapped behind us, “daddy is holding mummy in his arms.” His words

brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to

the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her

eyes and said softly, “Let us start from today, don’t tell our son.” I

nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went

to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my

chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I

realized that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long

time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles

on her face.



On the third day, she whispered to me, “The outside garden is being

demolished. Be careful when you pass there.”

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were

still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The

visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,

where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.

I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn’t tell Dew about this.



I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me

stronger. I said to her, “It seems not difficult to carry you now.”



She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried

quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, “All my

dresses have grown fatter.” I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was

because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I

was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.

Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to

touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. “Dad, it’s time to carry mum out.” He

said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an

essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and

hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change

my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the

bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my

neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to

our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.



On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.

Our son had gone to school. She said, “Actually I hope you will hold me

in your arms until we are old.”

I held her tightly and said, “Both you and I didn’t notice that our life

was lack of such intimacy.”

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid

any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened

the door. I said to her, “Sorry, Dew, I won’t divorce. I’m serious.”

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. “You got no

fever.” She said. I moved her hand off my head. “Sorry, Dew,” I said, “I

can only say sorry to you, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring

probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because

we didn’t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried

her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her

until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.”

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed

the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife

which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting

words on the card. I smiled and wrote, “I’ll carry you out every morning

until we are old.”

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Christmas Eve12.24.04

I worked on the Christmas eve. But since my luv knew that I’d be alone on the christmas eve (Robbie, Malen and Aimz — it’s their rest day) he fetched me and we went to Shopwise and SM in Cubao to buy the last minute shopping. We purchased non stick frying pan for mom, brandy for dad and so as for his other clients. Ball Toyz for Thea and groceries. We ate at Wendys. On the way to the office, I gave him my gift and as usual, it does not fit, its big. So I have to return the ring for the right size. I’m so happy that we’re together but I’m kinda sleepy at the office after the big meal given by the management. See the pic…hehehe…

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testimonials12.23.04

I cant do blog today…making testimonials for my friends in friendster…will blog soon…i kinda want to edit my skin…really like…

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team bonding12.22.04

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an excerpt12.21.04

to learn that they cannot make anyone can love them,

all they can do is let themselves be loved.

to learn that it is not good

to compare themselves to others.

to learn to forgive

by practicing forgiveness.

to learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love,

and it can take many years to heal them.

to learn that a rich person is not one who has the most,

but is one who needs the least.

to learnt that people who love them dearly,

but simply do not yet know how to express or show their feelings.

to learn that two people can look at the same thing

and see it differently.

to learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another,

but they must also forgive themselves.

excerpts from the presentationc of “the interview with God”

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christmas rush12.16.04

so sorry for not blogging for a long time…so busy this past few days…still so much for Christmas rush….will blog soon!!!

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