Archive for August, 2004

spent together08.24.04

I don’t know why I enjoyed it so much when we spent some time together last Sunday. He went over to our house and we cooked spaghetti, lumpiang shanghai and fried chicken. We ate while we’re making kulit with Adrian, Nini, Camille and Mark. After that we went to SM Marilao, lying to Adrian coz I don’t want him with us so we can spend some time together. On the way to Marilou, we stopped at Malen’s house so that we can bring some food for her. On SM, we just strolled. Bought sandals for both of us. We checked some books at BookSale and we just enjoyed our time together. And it’s really really good. We’re not pressured or in a hurry. We really enjoyed strolling and updating our lives of what is happening to each other. After four hours, we went home and we watched cable. The movie was Ballistic by Antonio Banderas and Lucy Lui. It’s ok. Then he went home around 9:30pm. Everything ends well. It’s really nice to have him.

By the way, I’ve extracted him a promise that we’re going to have a “date” next month. A promise is a promise! Love you ALEX!

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birthday celebration08.20.04

I’m so happy…really, really happy. I did not do the usual stuff this year. I did not cook anything for all of my officemates, I just selected few and then we all ate at Gerry’s Grill there in Libis. My luv came…so sweet! I celebrated it with Malen, Aimz, Alma, Pring, Sonia, Twinhearts and of course Alex my luv. We’re so happy, specially me coz I celebrated it with my friends and with Alex. Unfortunately, Mimi, my bestfriend since college wasn’t able to attend. After that, we went home but we, Alex and I talked (fought a little) before we go home. In the end, I wanted to “cool off” with Alex. But we can’t…we just have to work it out.

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mama…i love you08.13.04

Malen told me that I have this attitude that when I get mad, I’ll just raise my voice no matter whom I’m talking too. I’m so tired that day and I’m so pissed, maybe that’s why I shouted at my mom. I know that I did something wrong but its my pride that stopped me. And for the whole day, my mom stopped talking to me. I really felt bad…really bad. So when I go to work, on the way there I called her on my mobile and said that I’m very sorry and I’ll try my best not to do that again. And then after that, asgain I’m peace with myself.

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my portable CD08.10.04

I will not recommend buying any of the National Panasonic products. Aside from the fact that after six months, just six months of using, my SL MV60 (portable CD/VCD/MP3 player) broke!!! How comfortable!!! Shit! Let’s avoid buying National Panasonic products.

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5 GOLDEN RULES FOR FINDING YOUR LIFE PARTNER08.09.04

(by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.)

A relationship coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married, they’ll say: “We’re in love.” I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone).

Though this may sound not politically correct, there’s a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.

Let me say it again: You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you’re serious about

finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:

Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important?

Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone.

What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat andjog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart.

To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life – bottom line – and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:

Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of

having good communication is trust! i.e. trust that I won’t get “punished” or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.

Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:

Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.

How can you test? Here are some suggestions.

1. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?

2. Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as “someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing”.

“So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?”

Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:

How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give.

By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following:

1. How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice

to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?

2. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have

gratitude and appreciation?

3. Do they show respect? If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they’ll have gratitude for you – who can’t do nearly as much for them!

4. Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:

Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to “improve” them after they’re married.

As a colleague of mine puts it, “You can probably expect someone to change after marriage … for the worse!”

If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself in trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

Subject: HOW WILL I KNOW IF I’VE MET THE PERSON I SHOULD MARRY?

The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on “I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we’re together and I want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let’s go get married”.

Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own. They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need considerable assistance from your brain.

Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This, as you may have guessed, is a very long time to spend with one person. This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on vacation with you. More important yet, this person will share your children. You need to choose wisely. The decision should not be made based on feelings alone. You need to ask yourself some tough questions. The decisions have to be made on solid considerations.

Will this person be a good partner? Is she mature enough to put her own selfish desires aside to look out for what is best for the family? Is he prepared to be a good provider? What is his track record? Is he responsible enough to get a good job and keep it?

Will this person be a good parent? Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person? They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents’

character traits. You had better like your spouse’s traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children. If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust …

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birthday wish08.08.04

I will celebrate my birthday in the next couple of days. I wish Alex will be there. I don’t know why he’s not in the mood to celebrate with my co-workers. Hmmm…nagtatampo…hehehe…

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HATE08.07.04

Aimz emailed me this…nice thought specially when she heard me say the “hate” word.

Life is too short to spend it hating.

In Leviticus 19:17, God warns us against hating others: “Do not hate your brother in your heart.” Interestingly, that verse shows us that hate isn’t just an action; it is also an attitude of the heart. Many times we hate someone in our heart, yet pretend to like them. However, hating someone in your heart is nonetheless hate — and thus despised by God.

Although it sounds harsh, 1 John 3:15 says that anyone who hates his brother is a murderer. Indeed, as far as your heart is concerned, to hate is to murder. In other words, hating someone is no different than murdering them in your hearts.

If you hate someone, you’ll be thinking negatively about them, slandering them (if not verbally, at least in your heart), and cutting them down with your thoughts and words. Thus, it is no surprise that God sternly warns us not to hate others, because life is too short to spend it hating.

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Baguio Trip (the anniv trip)08.06.04

This would be one of the most memorable trips we ever had. It’s because it was our anniversary trip. I planned this trip for almost six months. I think that it’s one of the most memorable trips that I ever had because I’m with the one that I love. I woke up around 4:30 in the morning. Then he fetched me around 6:00a.m. Then we’re on our way to go. Around 8:30a.m., we arrived at Tarlac and we had our breakfast at McDonalds. We both ate Longganisa meal. Then after that we continue our road trip to Baguio. I forgot to buy film for the camera so we stopped at 7-11 in San Miguel, Tarlac to buy one. Afterwards, we continue our way to Baguio. I really like the road on the way to Baguio specially the road in Tarlac and Pangasinan because of the big trees, left and right, creating a huge arc, giving our faces some shadows from an early morning sun shine.

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